So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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