whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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