ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
