He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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