i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
