this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
