mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize