That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
