We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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