We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
