Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
