so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
