question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
