My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
