I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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