That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
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