woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
