Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
