I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
