Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
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