are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize