She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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