I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
