She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
