Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
