Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

should I fuck that poor girl

(1-770): View more from Georgia

no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...

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(702): View more from Nevada

We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.

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(516): View more from New York

1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.

(516): View more from New York

By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.

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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

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(513): View more from Ohio

These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.

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(702): View more from Nevada

Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.

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