dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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