two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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