Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
