I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
two words: eviction party
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
