You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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