I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
