RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
