this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
