You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
