I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I puked a lego.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
