Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
