It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
