Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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