Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize