I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
