I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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