you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I look better un-naked...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
