fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
false alarm. still invincible.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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