OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
