what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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