would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
