super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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