you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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