dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
