My first STD was from a foam party
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize