answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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