How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize