What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
