Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
