Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
