first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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