I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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