I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
PANTIES FOUND
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