The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
