I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
