Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
How external is "for external use only"?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
