Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
